Last night I read James 1 and it resonated with me because everyone goes through slumps and trials. Two weeks ago, I questioned every decision I made: should I do Tech PR? Should I go back to school? Should I leave New York? (the answer is a definite no to the last one). But through it, all I realized that I was burned out and lacked that fire I had when I first moved here. The Honeymoon phase was over so to speak, so I wanted something new.
Unlike many people I know, I welcome change and sometime initiate it myself to try something new. Once something becomes routine, it goes down hill from there.
Now what does this have to do with James 1? Before I connect the dots, I wanted to highlight the verses (2-5) that resonated with me:
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
We all face trials of different kinds, some more difficult than others, but in the end we have to remember to persevere. Since the end of May, I had lost my fire and was going through the motions. My life was definitely not being lived to its fullest. I started questioning my reason for existence with the fear that I’m wasting my life without doing anything meaningful. As much as I love my job, I started to wonder if Tech PR is really what I wanted to do/what God wanted me to do. In prayer, I asked God two things: to light that fire in my heart and to show me where I needed to be in life.
The thing with prayer is that it’s not always answered over night. It took a month for God to give me a clear answer – not because God wants to see us suffer, but because he wants to strengthen us and develop our character.
This week I realized how faithful our God is even though we don’t deserve. It may not seem like it in this broken world, but he truly does love us and answers us (and sometimes tells us things we don’t want to hear). During my “funk” phase I consulted with several people and they basically told me what I didn’t want to hear (at first), but as I started praying, I began to realize it’s because I am where God wants me to be. I began going to work with a new attitude and started to love it again. The biggest lesson learned is that joy only comes from the Lord and nothing else. **One thing to note: joy and happiness are different. Things/moments can make one happy, but true joy is from the Lord.
– The Real Swaggy P